


Battles Fought in Silence

by katsumi_ym (Katsumi27)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 21:38:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15615579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsumi27/pseuds/katsumi_ym
Summary: Yamaguchi Tadashi deals with his anxiety the only way he knows how, alone.I think its fairly canon that Yamaguchi deals with some level of anxiety on a regular basis, and I wanted to explore that aspect a bit. I don't plan on expanding on this at the moment but maybe if people really like it?[Originally posted on FF.net in 2016]





	Battles Fought in Silence

As soon as the teacher declared class over, Yamaguchi pushed away from his desk, muttered 'bathroom' weakly, and walked out of the room, leaving his things behind for the moment. The comment was obviously directed towards Tsukishima, who was the only person in the room to whom he might owe an explanation, but he hadn't made sure he had been heard before rushing out.

His eyes were focused on the ground about two meters in front of him as he walked down the hall. Although, at his speed, perhaps "walked" wasn't quite right. It was right after class so the chances of running into Hinata or Kageyama were quite high. Those two were always the first to head to practice, while he and Tsukishima normally took their time getting there. He prayed he could avoid them, just this once. Somehow he managed to make it to the bathroom without hearing his name called out, but he didn't breathe a sigh of relief until he was safely locked into one of the stalls. In fact, it was entirely possible he hadn't taken a single breath the entire way there.

Yamaguchi was grateful that he didn't really attract attention. He was extremely ordinary-looking, and only slightly on the tall side. He was in the college prep classes, but he wasn't considered a particularly remarkable student either. Teachers called on him as often as they did other students, and he was normally able to give adequate answers.

I'm an idiot for spacing out.

The last class of the day had been literature, the novel they were currently reading wasn't particularly interesting, so he had spaced out, for only a second. It was enough. As soon as he was called on, his heart-rate sped up and he panicked. Where were they in the text? He stammered and picked up a few lines too early, earning him a disapproving look from the teacher. It felt like there was a rock lodged in his throat. Maybe another one in his stomach. He finally picked up from where the last person had left off, but tripped over a few words in his haste. Then his voice cracked. There was a single snicker somewhere to his right, but everything else was silence. Except for the sound of his heart pounding and blood rushing past his eardrums. By the time he was allowed to sit down, his hands were shaking and he refused to look anywhere but the book. He wasn't called on again.

He had somehow managed to pick up his feet and place them on the toilet seat without falling. It was a trick he had learned over the years. It wasn't anything to be proud of. With his arms tightly wrapped around his knees, he curled into himself. Tightness. It was always tightness in his chest, tingling down his arms, on his palms. He couldn't get small enough. His arms couldn't hug his body tight enough, he felt like he might explode. Maybe he would implode instead. Maybe he could disappear that way. He wouldn't have to face his classmates again. Or his teacher.

\---

Tsukishima watched as his friend quickly shuffled out of the classroom, the frown on his face deepening. The rest of the class chattered excitedly as they filtered out of the classroom and into the halls. It's not even Friday, what are they so excited about? he wondered.

When he was the last person in the room, Tsukishima glanced over at Yamaguchi's desk. All of his things lay scattered, right where Yamaguchi had left them. Tsukishima muttered something angrily under his breath, and then stood up, packed all of his friend's things, then hurried out of the room, not bothering to push in any chairs or close the door.

He fought his way through the halls, against the flow of high school students eager for freedom, and pushed his way into the emptying bathroom. He stood by the sinks as the last few students trickled out. As soon as they did, his expression changed dramatically.

A quick glance around the bathroom confirmed it was empty. Well, almost empty.

Tsukishima hated how easily he could hear and recognize Yamaguchi's uneven breathing. The situation wasn't all that unfamiliar to them, after all.

Slowly, cautiously, he walked up to the only occupied stall and tapped on the door with the tip of his index finger.

"It's me. I brought you your things."

There's no verbal response, but he notices a change in Yamaguchi's breathing. At least it seems he heard him.

"There's no one here, everyone's gone home," he tries. Still, nothing. No, he hears him move and take a deep breath, he just doesn't say anything.

"Tadashi…

…Can I come in?"


End file.
